Monday, June 14, 2010

Are you impressed?

This has been on my mind a lot lately. Are you impressed? Pretty simple question. But what weight does it really carry?

I guess this has been a lot more on my mind lately because I'm now at a point where I can interview for a 'real' or permanent position with Apple. See, until now I was on a contingent basis, more like a dating period. So it's no secret that my superiors have been looking at my numbers. Everything from my punctuality and sales figures to how much do I really dig being there. And I'm beginning to understand why some people wouldn't make it there. Not that it's hard, but it's also not easy. And after a while you can only 'impress' for so long. I mean sure, at first anyone is psyched about a new job, so you dress up, you shave, you show up 15 minutes early. But after you've settled into your routine, after you learned the in's and out's how much are you still trying to impress? I guess what I'm figuring out is that you can only hold a song and dance for so long. I feel fortunate that for me, it's not a song and dance. I genuinely enjoy my job, so after a few months I still enjoying getting there early, I'm still competing to have astronomical figures, I still love what I do.

But this led to me thinking in terms of people. Who are you? Sure, there are situations and circumstances that call for a certain, décor or panache. But is that who you want people to think you are? Or are you 'that' person even when no one is looking? Are you impressive all the time or just when people are looking? See the great thing about people is that if you watch them long enough eventually you see who they really are. Some of my closest friends are those that after years and years of doing life together are still the same people. I think of the years I was in the world doing my own thing and literally everybody from the church I grew up in kind of shunned me. Not that I expected everyone to come chase after me, but I definitely noticed those that did. I had three people in all those years that continuously called and checked on me. That encouraged me and loved on me even when they had nothing to gain from pouring into me—and after all, isn't this love? Sure I get it, befriending me was a bad 'political' move for everyone else in that church but was it politics that brought me back to Christ? Not at all. It was love. So I think, who am I? Who are you?

The danger in putting on a song and a dance for people is that you can only sing and dance so long. Eventually the tune fades and your feet hurt. And then, who are you? But maybe it's just human nature to try and impress. Anytime you have a novelty or a 'honeymoon' period to anything it seems as though everything is rainbows and butterflies. But when there is nothing to gain from trying to impress who are you? I think this is something I learned in those years I was off doing my own thing. I spent so long growing up in church, playing the church game, shaking the right hands, kissing the right babies, volunteering for the right ministries, but when it all lost it's allure, I got bored. I didn't want to be that person anymore and when I fell off, politically I was a stigma. So I think even in those years God was teaching me to be me and be me all the time. So sure, I'm not always the most couth, I may not always be politically savvy, but I am me. And if you can't fake who you are forever then why start?

I think what finally freed me to be me and be me to my fullest was the day I realized the one person I ever needed to impress was already impressed. You see, there is nothing I can ever do, learn, accomplish or purchase that will make my Father love me any more. Or any less. When I learned that it was like the weight of the world was off me and on him. If he loves me when I sin and he loves me when I don't then I have nothing to hide. He knows my shortcomings, he knows my highest achievements. He loves me when I cuss and he loves me when I sing. And if he's impressed, who's left to impress? Can people place me somewhere God hasn't appointed me for? Absolutely not. And can man displace me from where God has appointed me? Try.

So if there are no expectations to impress then why do we still do it? Because it feels good to be praised doesn't it? It feels good to be accepted and loved. I won't lie, it does. As people, we keep what's impressive and cut what is not. Right? I mean, what are relationships if not two people that are impressed with each other enough to stick together? And that's ok. You should never settle for something or someone that makes you feel less-than. For something that you feel is not impressive. If God has the best for you than why settle for less? In a certain sense, you deserve to be impressed. And if you're not, move on. But on the flip side, do you really want praise or acceptance for who you're not? And this, to me, seems to be the pivotal point between integrity and dishonesty. Because some people are so starved for acceptance that they'll sell themselves out to be someone they're not simply to have someone give them a pat on the back or a shinning word of praise. So what's the solution? Be impressive. But be impressive to the One that matters. Be impressive in your freedom, be impressive in loving him, in chasing him, in loving his people and he will make you impressive in your core. And if in your core you're impressive, it's not a song and dance people are impressed by, it's the One living in you that people are impressed by.

So sing your song. Dance your dance. And when you're tired of being the world's dancing monkey, know your Father is here to receive you, to love you, to cherish you and to be impressed by you.




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