Before I completely take off on this idea, I have to give credit where credit is due, I stole this idea from the fine folks over at InkedBlog.com, their motto is "Everybody has a story" and they invite people to share their stories on why they got their ink. Some are flippant and trivial; others are deep and soul moving. And while some of you may or may not have strong feelings against tattoos or body mods, can we all at least agree that it's a personal preference and not a 'Bible' thing? Because, I mean, really, if we're going by the Old Testament, we sin when we wear a poly-blend t-shirt. Just saying.
So whether you like them or not, here's my story.
I have to say, I've always really admired good art work on a person and I've always thought tattoos had a definite depth to them, if done right—I know a guy that tattooed the Apple logo on his arm and another chic that had a Velveeta cheese block on her thigh. Some I do have to wonder at the forethought that was invested. But I've always wanted mine to carry weight. To be meaningful and to be costly. Not necessarily in monetary terms, but all the ones I have are in spots that were pretty sensitive.
My first one is simple script that wraps around my left arm from the inside of my bicep, over the bone on my elbow out to the middle of my forearm. It reads, "Primero De Noviembre Dos Mil y Seis Dia De Vida Isaias 43:1-4". It means, "November First Two-Thousand-Six Day of Life Isaiah 43:1-4". I got this one a few years after I came to Christ. It's obviously the day I found Christ, but because God rarely deals with me in 'billboards' I thought it fitting I ought to commemorate one of the few times he did in a big way. I actually didn't figure out the full meaning of this day until some years after I came to Jesus.
One morning, I was praying in my room, just kind of crying out to God for my people. See, in México, and here actually, my people have a deep sense of religion, but a lot of times not much more. In fact, I've seen it hard for some of my people that come to Jesus to fully embrace grace and love and forgiveness because of how deeply religion is embedded in my culture. But November 1st in México is the infamous 'Day of the Dead' and if you really study the history behind it, it's pretty dark. And honestly, kind of kooky. People go to cemeteries and leave food and offerings for their ancestors as a way of 'appeasing' and communicating with the spirits and finding some sort of closure or healing over the loss of loved ones. And on this particular day it just broke me to know that my people were so far off the mark, worshipping dead ancestors and serving offerings when the true, living God is yearning and clamoring to know them and heal all their hurts. So as I was praying about this, I had this huge 'aha!' moment where God reminded me that in was on November 1st that I found life. November 1st, 2006 was literally the day I came alive! Which also happens to be my mom's birthday.
See, at that time I was really struggling in an unhealthy relationship I found myself in. That morning I found out the girl I had been living with cheated on me. I kicked her out of the house and was planning on doing work on the dude she cheated on me with. I had it all planned out—I was going smash her car up, hope for the dude to come out and try to play superman so I could rough him up a bit too. I'm telling you, I had it planned out in a creepy way. Down to how I wanted to break a few bones and smash in his eye sockets, etc. And as I'm leaving my room to do this, I heard for the first time in a long time, the Spirit speak to me. And he simply said –or you can come home. 'Or you can come home' is all I heard. Over and over in my head and my heart until I broke. At that moment, it hit me how much off the mark I had strayed, how much I had tried to fill my lonely life with the things of this world. And honestly, how unsatisfied I was. I mean, I was about to rough a dude up and quite possibly do a stretch of time for some pretty serious charges, over what? A failed relationship? I was jacked. And truth be told, I hadn't always been completely faithful either, but at that moment all I could think of was how hurt I was and how cheated I felt. So for the first time in a long time, I hit my knees, bawled like a baby and came home.
The first story I read after asking Jesus to make my life new was Isaiah 43. The story of the Israelites straying from God, yet again. And in there, God tells them (paraphrasing here), yes, you are in a mess-a mess you created. Yes, you are overwhelmed with your non-sense. But you know what? That fire you're going through, it won't burn you. That flood you're going through? It won't drown you. Why? And verse 4 is my favorite, "because you're precious to me and I love you". The Amplified describes precious as royalty, a gem, literally, a prince. And on that day, after feeling so low and feeling like such a loser and a throw away, my God showed up to remind me I was precious, I wasn't a loser and I wasn't a throw away; I was royalty to him. And even though my life was a self-inflicted mess, He showed up to rescue me from my fire and flood.
And oh yeah, a lady whom I had never met then called my mom to tell her she had a dream that God told her to tell me that the fire I was going through and the flood I was going through wouldn't burn me and would drown me. That he loved me and that I was his prince. This was all November 1st, 2006. My day of life.
My next one I just got this year and I'm really happy with it. I had honestly been chewing on this idea for a while now. I usually try and sit on an idea for 6-12 months, if after that I'm still absolutely convinced I want it, I'll go for it. This one though, I think I've wanted this one for years now. I especially like it because Nicky and I have the exact same tattoo and I think Omar might get his soon too. Psalm 91:4 says, "He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection." I got this one to commemorate my dad. When he passed away, I was 16. Needless to say, it left a huge void in my life. And not just in a physical and financial way, but it honestly created issues in me that I didn't get hashed out for years and years. See, my dad, like many dads, was my hero. He was the man I looked up to, the man I shadowed, the man I admired, the man I wanted to be. He very literally was, my best friend. He was the man that always believed the best in everyone and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. He was the man that taught me, corrected me, disciplined me and loved me. But I think above all this, he was my support. He was my launching ground and he was my protector. If I have one consistent feeling that reminds me of my dad, it was that I always felt safe. See with him around, I always believed I could do anything, accomplish anything, go anywhere, try anything and he would always have my back. He was my fort that I came home to. It helped that he was a tower of a man. So when he passed, I all of a sudden became very insecure, felt very vulnerable, very unsafe and very unprotected. While most kids had dad to sign permission waivers, buy new cleats and ask about girls, my dad was gone. And I saw this manifested in many different ways for years in my life. I quit sports, I got in a lot of fights, smoked a lot of weed. I felt like I always had this chip on my shoulder—this stigma that I had to overcompensate for not being protected. And sometimes, I just wanted to run away from life and forget that my hero was gone. And countless other issues that took Jesus years to dig out from me.
But one thing I always remember about my dad was that he made us a family. See, my dad, was actually my step dad. He stepped into this pre-made kit of a family and selflessly took the mantle of dad and raised, cared for and provided for three boys that he honestly, had no obligation to. Not only was he dad, but he insisted on us being a family. We HAD to eat dinner together, we took a million family vacations, you know, family stuff. But he always made it a point to teach us that family came first. Before friends, before work, before pride. Family came first. And when he passed, I remember feeling this huge weight of being "dad" put on me. Not by anyone in particular, but by myself. Dad was gone, so obviously it was on me to make us a family, to somehow teach what dad would teach and say what dad would say. It was a heavy weight.
So when the first time I came across Psalm 91, I very much remember it being like my dad talking to me, not in a weird 'Day of the Dead' type. But I just remember feeling like the Spirit of God coming in and telling me, Son, I'm Dad. I'm your heavenly Father that will never die, never perish, never grow tired of caring for you and always have your back. I'm your support, your tower and your protection. And I sustain your family, not you. It's not your weight, it's mine. I very much remember feeling this image of God taking me under his arm like my dad used to and protecting me.
This is my God, this is my Dad, my heavenly Father that loves me, protects me, believes the best in me and always has my back. And he makes us a family.
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My last one I wanted to go without any words and just have an image. Again, I sat on this one for about six months before I decided on it, but I'm really happy about it, and this one I'm especially proud of because I actually designed it myself. I drew it up myself, researched the exact location of the cities etc. It's pretty straight-forward, but the heart is where I was born, México City and obviously the star is Austin. I wanted it to be a reminder of why I'm here. Like millions of other families, my family migrated here illegally about 20 years ago. We risked life and each other to come to a land for the opportunity to make a better life and have a better destiny than we would have otherwise had in México. It reminds me that where I'm at and whatever 'hardships' I think I'm going through is nothing compared to what my people face and go through on a daily basis just for the opportunity to give their next generation a better life. There are scores of highly intelligent men and women that come to this country from their land where they were successful business owners, entrepreneurs, even doctors attorneys and engineers that will gladly take up a mop bucket and lawn mower to provide a better life for their family. Some of these men and women will never again have the respect or admiration of their peers as educated professionals, but rather, will be mistreated, discriminated against, patronized, cheated, insulted, underpaid and many times abused. All for the cause and hope that their family won't struggle through what they struggled through. This is my reminder that where I came from is a tough, dark place where many don't have the hope and opportunities that I have. This is my reminder to be thankful and grateful for what God has given me, and to be thankful in my trials because as bad as I may have it, there are literally millions of men and women that would love to be where I'm at, life struggles and all. This is where I'm from and this is where I'm proud to be.
This is my collection. For now. Definitely thinking about adding and updating some of these, but still waiting for 6-12 months.
Be blessed friends.
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