Growing up in church I got really comfortable with "church speak" or what we would jokingly call Christianeze. You'd hear pastors throw life changing terms around with reckless abandon.
"Chase after God! "They'd say. "Fulfill your calling" was always popular. And of course, "Change the world!" was a good go-to.
Did anybody ever stop to think what any of these really mean? Did they ever stop to think the very real implications of what following any of these Christian charges of faith would look like? Any of them. Let alone all of them. I'm not suggesting most of these godly men didn't have my best at heart. But has anyone ever really dissected what any of this looks like? What it really means to truly "chase after God" or to "fulfill your calling?"
Growing up these were always very dramatic, sensational, emotion-laced commands. These were especially popular messages every summer at the annual Jesus camp. For all the stereotypes you can imagine, these things could actually be somewhat effective and I saw a lot of people really find their stride in God at these things. By the same token, whatever token stereotype of hyper-inflated spirituality you want to tag on these yearly pilgrimages is probably accurate too. But every summer there would be a handful of teenagers or even adults that would come back to the real world with a tangible, marked change in their lives. A few to whom "changing the world" wasn't just a cute form of hyperbole to accessorize their faith with, but a genuine newfound fervor and passion for their Savior. But for many of us, this one week Jesus acid trip was just that, one week of Nirvana on Earth where you could talk big, live right and start or end every sentence with "Amen" and "Praise God." A week where you vowed to give up any and all fleshly pursuits for the higher calling of Christ. Also for many of us, the one-week Jesus honeymoon ended all too soon. Halfway through the year we were reminded of the big changes we promised to make for the Lord and how short we were falling of that. -Where is your fire from this summer? they would ask.
One of my favorite scenes in The Other Guys is where Mark Wahlberg gives Will Ferrell a very inspired, emotionally-charged speech about being a hero.
-This is our moment! The city is dying for a hero! And we can be those heroes!
Will Ferrell's response is excellent.
-Really? A hero? What about nine million responsible citizens stepping up and doing their part?
Cracks me up every time!
But it relates a lot to our faith doesn't it? What does the world really need? A bunch of burnt out Ted Haggards or Benny Hinns? Where the world can't figure out if our faith is for real or if we're a blind, ignorant mob following after these celebrity pastors the way trailer parks across the South chase and profess their faith for WWE wrestlers? What would make more of a difference? Extolling your church's latest monstrosity of an auditorium or quietly living your faith without wavering or defecting? A banner rattling off how many new members you coaxed into the fold or quietly showing love to the man that has his world falling apart? Let me ask you this: which looks more like love? Is it tagging an entire group of people as lazy and stupid when their coping mechanism for this economic environment is demonstrating and picketing? Or is love coming beside them with grace, compassion and love, extending a hand saying -maybe I don't agree with everything you're saying, but I love you as a human. I love you as a child of God. Which is it?
I've been praying a lot lately about what my calling is in this season. What I should really be focused on. Admittedly, I feel as though I could use some re-focusing after this year. If I am completely honest and transparent, I would say I have not been chasing the best God has for me for a little bit now. Yes, I love the Lord, probably more now than I ever have. But the hypocrisy of the church and the bigotry of those professing the faith has definitely soured my view on "fellowship" with those who claim to be the Body. I don't have a lot of that figured out, even now. But I know this. God has the best for me. Now. Not when I'm done grappling with these issues of the faith. Not when I have all the answers. Now. Not when I feel like it. Not when I feel "worthy." Now.
And this is my calling: to be here. Now. This is my excellence. To walk in faith, to chase after Him in the midst of the wondering and wandering. To trust and walk even when life doesn't make sense. Even when the Body hurts and disappoints. To be the Body to those that may never set foot in a multi-million dollar facility complete with lights, sounds and technology that would rival most concerts today.
I used to believe that "walking in your faith" a lot of times meant being a Christian with a Bible Man costume buttoned and hidden under your street clothes ready to go at a moment's notice. To preach the faith from the steeples to the mountain tops. To cast out the demons of drinking, partying and overt sexuality from the world around you by casting holy stones and condescending glances at the mention of any of these vices. To be "set apart" meant to let the world know exactly how much holier you were because you didn't participate in these extracurriculars. I'm learning it is the exact opposite. I'm learning that walking in your faith involves a lot more walking and a lot less preaching. In fact, I would venture to say that walking in your faith ought to involve a lot less "set apart" and a lot more doing life together. I was talking to a friend lately that's been burned by the church more times and with more fervor than a heretic in Salem. He said to me -You know, it's sad that the world thinks Christians are full of shit, but it's even more sad that for the most part, they're right. And it resonated with me. That's exactly what the world thinks. That's exactly how they feel. If you're not familiar with Gandhi's quote by now, you should be "I like your Jesus, but your Christians are so unlike him." And sad to say, most of us cannot argue with them. It's like a psychotic relationship the church has with the world it was sent to save. For every example of holy works, feeding the poor, helping widows and disaster relief, there are just as many examples of hate, intolerance and bigotry that nullifies them. Some idiot pastor Tweeting some misogamist message, some church broadcasting and boasting how much good works are coming out of their building, some believer blindly endorsing hateful and racist politics under the banner of 'Christian values.' So yes, the world has plenty of reasons to believe the Body is a limp, useless quadriplegic with only a mouth that moves and unfortunately moves too much and all too often, in the wrong direction.
So I don't know exactly what I'm doing in this season, if I can be completely transparent. I don't know what the balance is for me between work and life. I struggle with a lot of issues in the church. But I still know this, my Jesus loves me. He loves the world. He wants the best for me and he wants the best for them. And in this season, excellence for me is walking in that, believing that and hopefully having chances to share that with those that have been burned, isolated, ostracized, excommunicated or otherwise forgotten by the church.
It was in one of those summer camps that I very clearly heard the Holy Spirit tell me this: You are not forgotten. You are not less-than. You are not ignored and you are not alone. I love you and I have the best for you.
That is my message in this season. I know I'm loved and I'm not forgotten. I know my God is big and my Jesus loves me unconditionally. Unfortunately, there are literally millions of people who have seen or heard someone in the Body show them otherwise. Excellence for me is to be a quiet, understated voice that seeks out an audience and loves unconditionally. A voice that is not boastful, proud, self-seeking or arrogant. I don't have everything figured out personally or spiritually. But I don't have to know everything to know this: I am loved and I am not forgotten. The world Jesus came for is loved and not forgotten. This is excellence for me and maybe in chasing that I can find the best for my life. Maybe in chasing that I can fulfill my calling and maybe in that I can change the world.
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